a letter of gratitude

My mother, a loving woman. My father, a hard working man. Both of them, have molded me into a young strong woman, without them I'd be nothing. My sister an amazing influence. My brothers strong like my father. Without them, I wouldn't know what to do. Me, the youngest one of four, filled with hopes and dreams; just like the rest of us.

Every single minute, every single moment, I have had thoughts in my head, all of them being connected with family. Now, its not always a walk in a park here but my parents raised us with freedom of expression. I could say that they've showed us all the love in the world. Well, at least I could tell. Maybe because we have  that freedom, we talk to our parents the way we do. We expect them to know how much we love and appreciate them. At the end of the day, we don't focus on our parents but we focus on the things we do not have.

Today, June 30th. I turn 19! Now, I love my family and friends. They really do matter to me. I know I'm one of those people who take people for granted. I really wish i didn't. It is a work in progress.

I know I'm ungrateful, I don't always give thanks to Our Heavenly Father, but I have it in mind. It's not fair! I know that soon I won't have to I will be thankful every single day of my life, for all the good and the bad. I know my purpose here on earth is to pave the way for my future generation. Thanks to my parents, for making me who I am today. Thank you to the people who have harmed me emotionally and who have loved me. Thank you to my older siblings, for making me understand that it's okay to feel hurt sometimes. Thank you to my extended family; mostly my cousins for letting me tag along with all the crazy things they seem to do. To the people I've just recently met, I'd like to give thanks to you too. Without you I wouldn't of had a special interest in the gospel.

This letter isn't for just the people I know, it's for everyone who will one day come across me. I may not be as humble as I should be. I'm a work in progress. I am human, I do make mistakes. It is necessary for us to get challenge to learn. Life's a climb, but we have to enjoy the journey too.

Thank you!

A change of life

Our Heavenly Father, has blessed me with many people in my life; wonderful parents, marvelous grandparents, fantastic brothers and sisters, furthermore fabulous cousins, uncles, and aunts. We all want all want our Heavenly Father's redeeming love, to be protected by his grace. God has blessed my heart in many ways. I'm a  Mormon. (I live it, I love it, I own it) The church's name is very long, but its good that you know it. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I know that the church is the right church for me because it encourages me to continue doing the right thing. They teach about love and forgiveness. Concepts, I had no clue what they meant until I found the church. I recently got baptized on March 10,2013. I was searching, reading, and finally I found; I didn't become a member just to be a part of a place of worship, or just because some on my family members converted.

I was searching for guidance and love. The type of love and guidance I couldn't find in any other place. Not at home, not in school, and definitely not in the streets. I was fighting an inner battle with myself. It's hard but my soul searching helped me realize that my faith wasn't as strong as others. I wanted to believe but everything else told me to do otherwise. This was a huge step of becoming a Latter-day Saint, which broke me down, making me a little bit more vulnerable to possibilities in becoming a humble, strong, loving woman. I know one day I will return to our Heavenly Father's presence and I will stand tall.

I've met so many wonderful people, from all over the United States and many parts of the world. They've showed me friendship and love. When my family needed to be held and accompanied, the missionaries were there to lend a helping loving hand. To me Love didn't mean, feeling a strong attraction towards another being; it now means learning to accept others. The missionaries that once stepped into my house left really high standards for any other missionaries to live up to, but every set of missionaries are different. We have dinner with them about once a week, we share what we've read, questions we have, and we bring them into a friendly family environment. That doesn't mean that they are treated this way everywhere they go. They have to spend  hours knocking on doors waiting for answers, because they rather spend two years of their lives being an example, and sharing the gospel. The missionaries are welcome into our house.

I never dreamed that home, would end up a place where I don't belong; I've made up my mind and my home  has become a place where the love is pure and non-judgmental. I love the concept of finding your true love and being together for all eternity. Every girl dreams of that one day she walks down the aisle with a white beautiful dress. The time has come when they say the " I DOS" instead of the priest saying "until death do you part" he will say " for time and all eternity". It sounds absolutely amazing, well at least for me. A girl could dream on. Now, my family has never been this close; we dine, read and go out together. Family has become so essential for us.

Just know that being true to myself is so much more valuable than being part of a label. So, be true, be honest, be you! Feel loved because Our Heavenly Father loves you.

it's not you, it's me!

accepting others is a very difficult decision one has to take. Specially if that person doesn't do anything to actually help you tolerate them, but lets be honest how in the world would they know, if we don't tell them they are intolerable? How can we help ourselves if we cannot take care of the problem? How is it that we could go a whole lifetime without actually telling anyone we have a problem with them, we just ignore and move on. Is moving on a solution to many problems? Is saying see you later, easier than saying goodbye?

How is it that, circumstances make us so vulnerable to feeling what's right? Sometimes positive energy isn't all that matters, what matters is searching the truth, accepting ourselves. We're all like onions, filled with layers. Its hard to accept the truth in our lives, it hurts but its necessary to grow to protect our integrity.
Maybe letting go isn't the problem? Maybe the problem is us. Are we too prideful to ask for help? Are we to scared to drop that tough girl or bad boy act? Perhaps, but the truth is that we are way to blind to see what lies before us and we're to focused on every bodies personal lives. Maybe accepting others isn't the problem its accepting ourselves.