Here's to you!

If I'm ever gone, you'll miss me like I'll miss you. Even if you have doubted our friendship, yes I miss you. If you've ever gotten to know me, you know that I get mad for no reason and that I'll get over it. What I've learn from what I've gone through in life, is that no matter how bad you treated me or much you loved me, I lived, I was there, I smiled. Writing this isn't a sad song, a sad letter, or a sad goodbye, but a hello from me. The hello some people haven't heard, a smile some haven't seen.

Here's to you! My peers:
If I was to ask you, have you lived? Have you smiled? Have you seen the light of day? I sure hope the answer is yes. If not. Say "GOODBYE DEPRESSION" I don't want you anymore, scoot, shut, "I AM BETTER THAN THIS" I cannot control what happens in the world but I could control how I live this life, MY LIFE. So, if I was to ask you again. Have you lived? Have you smiled? Have you seen the light of day? I hope your answer is "Yes, I have lived. Yes, I did smile. Yes I saw the light of day, I got fresh air."

Here's to you, my love:
I've seen the stars, the sky, the moon. I've seen sunlight in your eyes. I remember all the late talks, early morning walks, and afternoon lunch. Have you asked yourself, how did this happen? How did we meet? To be honest I know I have. I've been happy, I've been sad, I've been mad, but mostly I have laughed. I have loved and I've been loved. So, thank you. Just know that in between my whatevers, anyways, anywhos, and okays. I have always loved you.

Here's to you, my family:
I have heard the stories, of who's to remember when's. I've seen the change of each of your hearts, some have been broken, and some have been have been fully taken over. I have plenty of dreams. I have loved fully. I've seen what everyone can do, even if you don't realize your own potential. I've gotten mad at some of you, and no, I don't hate you, in fact I love you, I love all of you. I'm sorry I have been stubborn, I've made a lot of mistakes. I am imperfect. I've gone through life trying to live to the expectations or standards of what you want me to be. I just want to make you proud.

My life has been one over played country song, filled with love, disappointments, and happiness. I know that things happen for us to learn or us to learn. Heartbreaks, failure, love, happiness, sorrow. It all has a purpose. We just don't know it when it happens. We don't know what a blessing is until the world has been destroyed in front of us. We don't know how happy we are until we have hit rock bottom. Forgive your enemies and love your friends. Here's to you, you've made me so happy when it mattered, you've made me cry when I deserved it. Chances are... you probably won't read this, but if you do discover it make sure that everyone could read this page.

But for now, hold me like you mean it. Do it until you believe it, and maybe we will be able to fill that empty part. The time has come at last, to rest my heart and ease my past. I can't take what's not mine. I've chased my dreams and I've stood my ground, but I can't do that anymore.

Here's my last goodbye, until we meet again.

Even on my worst nights.

I know there may be times when we feel like everything is going wrong. We don't have the mind to look at the big picture, we just make decisions without thinking. I am one who much rather runaway and hide and write it out. But, there are some where it doesn't really matter they just stick to everything is wrong, it can't be done right again, why am I so stupid. But lets be real we are selfish all we care about it feeling good. I was reading this book, in which it stated that all animals go towards pleasure and if it isn't pleasure it isn't real.
As a latter day saint I know that, that temptations will come and I will have to be strong to say no. I have to always try my best to be my very best. I must endure to the end. It's a challenge but I think about all the blessings that Heavenly Father has given me, when I don't deserve it and when I do. Even in my worst nights I know that I'm not alone. Although it's hard to believe when you can't see it, but I could feel that its real.
When my doubts start rushing in I remember that it's so much easier not to do the right thing, but it is a lot harder to do the right. I am human I do make mistakes, we sin everyday, that's why its important to have constant communication with Our Heavenly Father.  I know that at times we cannot fold our arms put our head down or kneel down, we remember to stay humble.