Hope

If I was to ask you,  to look inside your heart? How are you feeling? What are you thinking about?
Are you shy? Are you happy? Are you mad? Are you sad? Are you confused? What do you want? Are you contemplating the past? What's going on? You are not the same person you were last year. What's different? Tell me, I want to help you. I can't help you, if you keep shutting me out. Do you need a new beginning? Or is it something simple, do you need some space? Do you need time to do some soul searching?

I'll help you out. Let me, share what's going on inside me. No one is ever going to tell you what is really going on. They will sugar coat it, but not me.
For the past few days, I've been thinking about everything. I've been trying to figure out, what happened? Why did we come this far? Something changed inside of me, I used to admire how strong you were. It was probably the ignorance, but the blinds are off. I've fallen straight down, its shattered my dreams. Is it something serious? Maybe. I can't help you anymore, I just can't. I hurt myself more every time I see you there. I can't tell you what to do, I am not your mother. I'm your daughter. It's a commandment to "honor your mother and your father". It's also a commandment to "love thy neighbor, like you love thyself." I'm sorry I can't anymore. I've tried so hard to keep everything inside. I used to see you walk in our front door, and with excitement I'd ask you " hi, how was work?" but now I run away, straight to my room. I don't know why I do it.  I think its because I want to keep the image of how you used to be.  I still love you, but I just need some time to recollect my thoughts, fears, and my shattered heart. Although it sounds like I'm giving up, I'm not.
As I sit here, writing this I wonder. Why has your heart changed? What happened? I don't know what to do anymore. My heart is telling me to let it go, that everything will be o'right.

"When the pathway of life takes a cruel turn, there is the temptation to ask the question “Why me?” At times there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel, no sunrise to end the night’s darkness. We feel encompassed by the disappointment of shattered dreams and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea, “Is there no balm in Gilead?”  We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We become impatient for a solution to our problems, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required.

The difficulties which come to us present us with the real test of our ability to endure. A fundamental question remains to be answered by each of us: Shall I falter, or shall I finish? Some do falter as they find themselves unable to rise above their challenges. To finish involves enduring to the very end of life itself.

As we ponder the events that can befall all of us, we can say with Job of old, “Man is born unto trouble.” Job was a “perfect and upright” man who “feared God, and eschewed evil.” Pious in his conduct, prosperous in his fortune, Job was to face a test which could have destroyed anyone. Shorn of his possessions, scorned by his friends, afflicted by his suffering, shattered by the loss of his family, he was urged to “curse God, and die.” He resisted this temptation and declared from the depths of his noble soul:

“Behold, my witness is in heaven, and my record is on high.”

“I know that my redeemer liveth.”

Job kept the faith. Will we do likewise as we face those challenges which will be ours?

Whenever we are inclined to feel burdened down with the blows of life, let us remember that others have passed the same way, have endured, and then have overcome." -THOMAS S. MONSON

I write these things with tears in my eyes and with hope that we could overcome any obstacles. I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father doesn't give us anything we can't handle.